Sochi today: Glastonbury-on-permafrost, hairbitch, and Jenny Jones goes bronze #Sochi2014

ImageThe Glastonbury fields are frozen, paved over; essential festival attire is a BBC Sport puffa.

Headliners New Kids On The Block are replaced at the last minute by local tribute band NKOTB – Russian for colourless rainbow – who clutch gansta medallions, another must-have accessory. Lineup-wise, as with TV drama, Scandinavian acts tend to do well.

Lycra, last seen on Mötley Crüe in 1983 and on terribly serious joggers this morning, is everywhere. A breakneck flash of red and yellow on the luge is not Iron Man but a 24-year-old German named Felix Loch, who wins gold again like he did four years ago. On receiving his medal, the national anthem is replaced by the Scorpions’ Rock You Like a Hurricane.

Bronze! Jenny Jones, a friendly blonde who you thought was on the organic cider stall, defies gravity on a snowboard to bag Britain’s first ever medal on snow. You can’t take your eyes from her Hollywood-styled-and-twirled hair when Clare Balding interviews her later, while team-mate and commentator Aimee Fuller sports a peroxide hairspray job last seen on Mötley Crüe in 1983.

Owners of Russian cheekbones stroll by.

The BBC’s Sochi 2014 website is here.


About James Willsher

Newspaper and magazine reporter since 2004, has freelanced in Russia and Central Asia, and does local government PR. Likes green tea and interviewing people / places. Phil Garrett was a pen name. @JGWillsher
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